aquabluu

lol my last journal was exactly a full year ago. A trainwreck period for me who can't bear to part with my free time for drawing because work was starting. I thought this was going to be a really terrible year.

Yeah I know 2016 was terrible something something celebrity deaths something. _{I blame a certain gorilla's publicity.}

For me it was a year of great changes. I'd already graduated university and started my job at a software company. The work itself is fine but I still spend long hours out of home. Blame the commute, blame the frequent overtimes etc. Despite all the company benefits, I was spending less and less time drawing. Or so I thought.

Just today while looking back at my year's work I noticed at least 30 new pieces; sketches, full works, that 'original character' comic I made back in June, those were all this year's stuff. I was quite surprised honestly; I thought with all my time spent at work and relatively less on art, I wasn't producing as much as I would have wanted, when the fact was I made as much, if not more art than last year when I wasn't working. Could be me using my free time better or something, I don't know, but it felt good.



Highlights of my art year: 2016 art summary

I was trying to push for improvement in a lot of areas, most of all my humans and landscaping and composition skills. I think I've made good headway in them; had a lot of proud moments in the part few months particularly. Bought several artbooks to refer to when I wasn't working. Plus, this year I've also set up a Facebook page to promote my art to the local community, and it's been working out better than I expected.

The big kicker was being able to fulfill a minor dream of my own; setting up an art booth at an artist's alley in an anime-comic-game convention, sharing the booth with a few others I was selling some Pokemon badges and prints; it was the time of my life and I loved it! Maybe I'll come for more events next time~


My badges! They look even better up close and for real!

All in all I guess it was a good thing that there were so many changes for me personally this year; it motivated me to work harder at the things I truly loved in the limited time I had, and, despite a lot of crying in bed and seriously depressing moments, helped me grow as a person. I know I'm not perfect yet. I still throw childish tantrums and get upset over some things that don't go my way...but I'll work on that. I'll improve and become an even better person next year. Both as an artist and as a software engineer.

Happy New Year everyone~

The year's come to an end huh? Everyone's posting their reflections and resolutions and stuff on their pages. You guys are all so full of hope and have overcome many things~

2015's been a long year of emotional stress for me. It was my final year in a Software Engineering major, which meant tons of projects and work. It really cut down on my time for art and working on my stories...just when I was starting to get in the swing of things again since late last year too. I didn't want to stop drawing, so instead, I compensated by staying up a little later each night to work on my skills and push out more art. I worked hard, trying to improve as much as I could. I'm tired, but at least I got to draw. I was happy for that.

Half a month from now I'll be entering the workforce. Yep, got myself a software job. It's really not all that bad; pay is pretty good, the work environment looks nice, but there's still one thing that's been nagging at me, and caused me a ton of emotional stress during this year.

I won't be able to draw as much as I want to.

Drawing's been one of the things I wanted to do the most in my life. I wanted a career in it, doing stuff like character designs, or making a nice story through a comic book, or a game, or 3D animation. I love the idea of creating characters and seeing them come to life, and have everyone else fall in love with them as much as I did. It was my biggest dream.

I was pushed into medicine due to pressure from my parents and relatives. I quit halfway through and took up software engineering. I didn't get to go into art at all, so I remain as I am right now; a self-taught amateur. I tried so hard to improve to a professional level, but I just can't get to that same level, ugh.

Directly saying I wanted to do art would just cause a shitstorm. I tried to show my passion indirectly through working hard at drawing. I wanted to see if working hard at it would at least show the people around me that I enjoyed doing art and wouldn't mind if it was something I did for a living. Maybe if I could produce quality art, opportunities would be open for me. But well, I'm too far into this path. I couldn't improve to a professional level, no matter how hard I tried this year. I couldn't change anything.

I'm so, so scared that once I go into work, I wouldn't have the time or energy to pursue my dream, nor would I be in the right path for it, and it would just fade away into nothingness. I'd probably have a better-than-average life, but as far as my dreams are concerned, I don't know if they'll ever come true...

I don't know how many times I've cried over this for the past half a year. If it wasn't for supporting me emotionally I probably would have been a lot worse off right now.

Next year? I don't really have much planned for next year. Go into work, earn money, that's it. I don't know how much more I can develop in my art with my time getting so limited from here on out.

Feels a bit hopeless, doesn't it? Guess that's just life.

pls

Rules:
1. You must specify your OC Details in the following questions
2. No tag backs
3. You can tag up to 5 people

A bit premature to tag; I only have two OCs in the bag right now...wait. Three. Yeah I'll go with three.

Aquabluu: my namesake cute little girl water fairy
Marinbluu: Aqua's older brother
Hollie: A fairy of nature (from another world) whom Aquabluu meets at some point in her adventure

1) What's your biggest dream?
Aquabluu: I wanna see lots of new places and worlds...and have lots of fun!
Marinbluu: To be mayor of Lumii! I need to get out of this defense force job first though
Hollie: I'm looking for a paradise! A place with lots of sunshine and bright, white flowers and cool breezes, some really otherworldly scenery....that sort of thing.

2) What's your favorite color?
Aquabluu: Uhhhh....blue? Kind of obvious XD
Marinbluu: Dark blue!
Hollie: Pink and white!

3) What's your talent?
Aquabluu: I know some really cool water magic! I'll show it to all of you sometime~
Marinbluu: I'm a good leader! I think...
Hollie: I can meditate for 5 hours straight! Doesn't sound like much but let's see you hold out that long, heheh

4) Tell us about your family! (Siblings, Mother, Father...)
Aquabluu: Big bro's right next to me! He's the coolest! My mom and dad are gone
Marinbluu: *hugs Aqua* We have each other, but too bad mom and dad aren't around anymore
Hollie: I have a younger brother, Aeolus, who's a little spacey, and a little sister, Lynn. I haven't seen her in a while. Mom and dad are gone

*the three of them look at each other all talking about dead parents* "Yooooooooooooooooooooo really??"

I tag no one. Tag yourselves if you want to XD

It's amazing the things you find out when you're updating your page after a long hiatus. Like, every single one of your drawings from 2014 not showing up on the main Featured part of the gallery for some odd reason :/ That's been fixed, and I've finally got off my lazy ass to sort my stuff into folders, and put all my old art into a separate folder.

side-note: I kind of miss spamming pyu~ at the end of every sentence haha XD

As for the Aquabluu story, yes I know it's long overdue. Way long. But I'm still undecided whether to put it in writing or in visual form. Both have their challenges obviously. What do you guys think? (if you still follow me after my disappearance)